Summer time and the living is easy. In theory anyway. The last month has been hectic with lots of travel, meeting people and presenting to different audiences. When there’s a chance, my mind gets all gooey, reminiscing on previous summers, memories of past loves, summer parties. It seems that life is normal. Have you ever noticed that when things are going really well, that’s when the little things, the little reminders of your old way of being, have such a profound -negative- effect.
Losing Sight of Our Dreams
We stumble into a new way of being with ideas of SELF turned upside down and inside out. Every day that third week in the summer of 2007, with the pieces of my heart rattling round my pocket, I drove myself to hospital, got my steroids, and then drove myself to work. The dreams were gone when I started seeing my world only through an MS filter. Eventually, I had to start taking ‘it’ off.
There’s no doubt in the last seven years life has been raw, it has been ugly with cursing and swearing, lost relationships. With all that said, these past two years life has turned around as I made changes and choices and started planning for the life I wanted. This has been a heck of fun and since there was no way of avoiding it- IT being life- I’ve been doing things I didn’t imagine and having a wonderful, happy life.
ARE YOU EVER READY?
We go to school, our parents/those who are with us and what we experience is all about preparing for life and growing up and getting to know stuff and learning and knowledge. But I didn’t know I had MS written into my Book of Life. No-one can ever be prepared for diagnosis with a chronic illness. We are confronted with things never expected, with the subsequent fall out for a time. We have to adapt expectations but this does not mean losing out on life. However, it does call on people to assess their plans, adjust to a new way of being and strategically deal with life ahead. This is not managed in isolation; it is important that partners, friends and family are all part of the strategy for living this life.
I have raged, adapted, raged and finally, am getting a grip on what life with MS is all about. It’s about LIFE. For each and everyone of us, every morning we wake up we must realise that there is something to wake up FOR.
What are you happy about in your life, about your self? Make a quick check and if you’ve lost sight of your dreams, there are people who are dreaming for you.
Wishing you a wonderful sunny weekend, whatever the weather.
© Emma Rogan 2014